still laughing

I have absolutely nothing to write about, but I've decided that sitting in front of the computer and not doing much of anything is a really good way to fall asleep and I'm not allowing myself anymore sleep just yet, despite the fact that I am absolutely exhausted.
Don't know why, don't really care, but for the past two days all I've wanted to do it just sleep. I swear I've been conscious for about six hours out of the past fourty-eight...or maybe not, but it feels that way.
So despite a total lack of things to write about, I'm going to write anyway, just to keep myself awake and all.

Hm. *whistles*
Not much going on here right now.
Sephy's here. He's taken a couple of weeks 'emotional leave' off work to deal with the current 'family tragedy'.
Well, fuck.

My dad got sentenced, so I suppose that's what it's referring to. It appears twenty years was overly pessimistic overly optimistic not accurate, so he has eleven, twelve, thirteen? years with a reccomendation he serves at least...some of it, I don't know. I've been trying really hard not to pay attention.
And I feel a bit like an asshole, because everyone else is sort of gutted. Sephy, for instance, with his emotional leave. Claire and Jen are both distraught. Don't know nor care about Jake or Mike, to be perfectly honest but probably also distraught.
Mum, surprisingly, is doing a lot better. She's stopped being a crazy bitch anyway, and it's not a chore to put up with talking to her...but then again, who knows what's really going on? Could have advanced to a new stage of craziness for all I know.
I, on the other hand, have a definite sense of closure. I don't know if this makes me an asshole but I just don't care anymore and I'm sort of glad he got what was coming. At least there's a little bit of justice in an otherwise unfair universe.

But there we go.
Moving on.

Moving on to what?
Literally nothing else has happened.
Oh, that cut that got infected in my arm and made it inflate and go all red and sore and unpleasant is all better now...so that's nice.
I gave up on the english exam. Maybe I can put it off and apply to college again next year, when I'm in a better state of mind. I don't know. Hope I won't have to read Emma again, though.

Oh, and today is the anniversary of the first day of the rest of my life. This time, last year, I'm a handful of hours from being taken to hospital.
Weird.
I don't think I did a very good job of the rest of my life, either, but we'll skip over that and pretend that I did. It's not as if it's over yet, so I've got time to turn it around.

Ah, that's a nice vaguely optimistic thought. For me, anyway, and for something that I write in my blog. My blog is mostly a dark and evil place, I noticed, where everything horrible and pessimistic gets written down and makes me sound like I'm an inch from blowing my brains out.
I'm a rather happy individual about 85% of the time, so this is just the 15% of everything that sucks.

Except today I'm just really sleepy, so I apologise if none of this has made any sense whatsoever.
But I feel better. A little bit more awake, at any rate.
And in a couple of hours I'm gonna go and meet Mai for invisible coffee, so that's nice too.
I think now I'm done. I'm going to go and take a cold shower to keep me awake or...at least go for a walk or something. I don't know.
No more fucking sleep though.