last train home

Mm...so, Matt = terrible blogger.
Or Matt = terrible at anything that requires regular commitment and is semi-time consuming.
But...fuck it.
I feel like I should do a post...even though I don’t have anything to post about. Haha, well I say that now, but I’ll end up rambling about God knows what...because I never really have that much to post about but I always seem to get carried away with typing whatever nonsense springs into my head.

Gather...gather...and begin.

So I figure the recent post-draught here in my little rambly, incredibly tedious blog has something to do with a total lack of anything major to complain about.
I have a lot of little things I could complain about, but I really can’t be assed to do that...and nothing is upsetting me all that much lately.
Obviously there are the little ongoing problems like my dad’s sadistic asshole-ness and his lovely newly developed habit of sending us foul letters from his cell and then being all nice and chipper on the phone. If he’s going for the insanity plea...well, fuck it, I’d give it to him. And there’s other stuff as well, but that’s the only thing I can really think of right now.
Everything else seems to have - mostly - just fallen into place. It’s rather lovely.

I don’t even really miss London that much anymore. I guess I sort of built it up to be the be all and end all, bane of all existence sort of thing...and thus got a bit panicky and irritable when I got taken away from it. It’s not exactly a very nice place, come to think of it. Well bits of it are, but not the bits where I lived.
And I miss the park and goose and the laundrette with the Chinese man and I miss going up the Spinny with Connor and Ee and Niff and that lot and pondering the mysteries of life the universe and everything (the toothpaste and the minty fresh...which I‘ve just decided I‘m not going to relive because that really was disgusting and Ee you are a totally messed up individual for even bringing that up haha).

It’s weird though. I don’t think I actually miss the people all that much. Feel like a total asshole for admitting it, but I think this is why I absolutely am sucking at maintaining friendships long distance.
It hurts a little bit when I remember that I now have no friends because they’re all back in London which is why I don’t phone very often, because I miss people when I talk to them and know that I can’t actually be there right when I want to be...but the rest of the time it’s like...bleh. Precious little on the angst front.
I think it’s a ‘only missing who I know I absolutely cannot have back’ thing, like with dead people or people in a whole other country like my sisters...and things like that. Whereas I know that as soon as Hamster gets his car fixed...he’s coming down here so I’ll get to see him, and then next month Sephy’s promised (on pain of death Joseph) that he’s gonna drive me over so I can see everyone else.
Whatever.

So I suppose that is a minor irritation and it’s mostly directed internally with the brief exception of an occasional ‘Why God, why? Why did you have to make me such an asshole?’
But eh to that.
Another minor irritation with living here...is this bloody...hench hill...which is driving me fucking crazy. This is the steepest longest most irritating hill in the world and the house is right near the top, so to walk down to the bottom is pain but then you have to walk back up again and it’s agony. Yesterday’s major trek has pretty much finished me and I’m never leaving the house again.
Got down the bottom (avec children of course), brought a paper, got back up again and deposited said paper and two of the kids with the babysitter (who gets a really fucking easy job because the stupid kids always seem to be with me anyway)...then ended up going back down because I had to give in the college application which I left behind, got back up again...Sephy phones to say “Meet me in town.”...back down the hill...go to go back up again, Roison starts crying cos her feet hurt and she can’t walk back up, carry the kid up the hill...Oh holy fuck where’s Eoin? Oh I left him at the bottom throwing clods of mud at pedestrians...run back down the hill, grab the demon child and fucking drag him up the hill...collapse on grass and get drawn on/pelted with mud/kicked. Ugh.

I don’t recall ever even signing up to be a full-time babysitter either. I’m gonna...like go crazy and probably cannibalise them or some such...but it probably won’t even be cannibalism because I’m having serious doubts that they’re even human. I also don’t know why they’ve tagged onto me like they have, because I don’t think I really give out people-friendly vibes, let alone child-friendly ones. So I don’t know.

But fuck it.
I get to go home for the summer...which is like...115/116 days-ish. Mid-July, anyway.
It sort of sucks a little bit...cos Mid-July is when English schools/colleges break up for the summer holidays...but Scottish ones get let out two weeks earlier and go back two weeks earlier...so I miss out on two weeks all because my mum thinks that I’m in college right now and I don’t have the heart/balls to correct her. If I don’t get into college for next year, I’ll tell her the truth...if not, maybe I‘ll tell her anyway. Silly woman, making all sorts of assumptions.
But anyway, I still get to go up there for four weeks. Apparently she never wanted to kick me out anyway and it was dad’s decision, same with Sephy...so now he’s out of the picture both of us are allowed back. Sephy reckons it’s a bad idea and wants nothing to do with them, of course...but eh, I guess I don’t have his iron will.
So I get to see Jen...who’s probably not even small anymore by now. And I get to see Claire too, who definitely won’t be small by then...cos she’s due in...late August/early September...I think.
And I’ll get to see mum too and Jake and Mike and their respective wives who’s names I can’t remember and one of them will have a kid of his own by then too...although I can’t remember which one. Damnit, I suck.
But that’ll be nice. This summer and all.

And I think I’ve run out of steam.
I can’t think of one more thing to rant/write about...and I’m getting sick of typing and possibly developing carpal tunnel...and also it’s 11 already so where did the morning go?
I feel like I should do something or I’ll end up sitting here all day doing absolutely nothing. Not that I can think of anything to do that doesn’t involve tidying/babysitting/walking. Hm.
Well anyway, that’s enough of an update.