para todas las putas celosas

Hm.
Knew I shouldn't have done that last post that I did.
I read it back today and it was like...cringe, cringe, cringe.
Ah well. Thanks for commenting Nina, I guess. I would comment back in the little comment box thingy but I can't really think of anything specific to say there. So meh.

Today is not much better than yesterday.
Still the same...sad, whatever.
And my medicine isn't working. I don't even know how it's supposed to work, but I don't feel any calmer or anything.
Had three attacks this morning, so my heart is all like uhlrtghejr.p;o4iehlAWHEW and I hate that feeling and I don't feel like I can breathe properly. It's that feeling...where I can breathe obviously, but it doesn't feel like it's doing any good.

Really starting to hate Sephy.
Not hate him, I guess.
Just...bleh.
I want him to go home. I have a routine, you know?
I'm a creature of bloody habit and he's here and enforcing his own routine and making me follow it and I can't stand it. He's just making it worse, aggravating. I haven't had three attacks in quick succession in months and now he's here and being Sephy-ish and making it worse.

Mind, I don't think he's too fond of me at the moment. Haha.
My patience is really wearing thin.
But so is his.

Speaking of family though.
Dad's sentence came through. Twenty years. Twenty years, twenty years, twenty years.
He's fifty now...or fourty nine...I don't recall, so twenty years is going to mean he's sixty nine/seventy by the time he gets out. He's probably not going to live that long either, is he?
So that's like...the rest of his life.
I dunno. Sucks, I suppose but just like the rest of us, he brings it on himself.
I'm a little worried about Mum and Claire and Jen though.
But I suppose it's none of my business.

Huh.
I don't know how I got so off topic...
So, Stalin...Sephy has decided that we are going home. We, as in both of us, as in he's dragging me with him.
I was looking forward to going back to stay with him and Davis for a bit, but that's just it...it would be a visit. I don't want to go and live with them.
I'm sure it would be a load off and all, but I've lived here for my...not entire life, but I've lived here for a long time and I don't want to leave. I'm emotionally attatched to London, and Seaford is definitely no London.
And like...if I was in Seaford...there would be no Daz and Loki and no Hamster and Holly and no Lucy and Rosie and the unborn one. Would be miles and hours away.
Don't like that.

I don't know.
I guess I could kick up a fuss at some point.
For now, I don't think I will. Been enough fussing today already.

I am bored though.
Really rather bored.
I wish that I had something to do.
Hm.
I'll go find something.
Laters.